Dealing with Youth Hockey Parents
Many parents don't know how to act with their kids, or at games. When I first started coaching I was very reluctant to "get involved" with the parent-kid relationship. As time has gone on I have learned that it is essential to establish how I expect parents to act. Lets look at some examples.
Often I'll hear a parent screaming at the ref, something like "you stupid so-and-so, how could you….". After the game I'll take that parent aside, where I'm sure no one can see or hear us, and explain that our team doesn't yell at the refs, and I'd sure appreciate his co-operation, etc. This first time I will be very polite, and nice. The parents often don't realize what they are doing, and this little reminder is all that is required. However, if they keep doing it, my second talk is a little more pointed, along the lines of, "look, if you keep yelling at the ref, I'm not going to let you in the rink". And I'll get more intense from this point if needed. My kids don't yell at the ref, I don't yell at the ref, and the parents aren't going to either.
I take the same approach if parents are yelling at their own kid. I can't control the fact that this poor kid probably gets yelled at all the time at home, but when they are on my team no parent is going to yell at any of my players if I'm around. I'll confront the parent (in private if possible), and tell them how I feel. If they scream at their kid after that point, I get between the parent and the kid and tell the parent to leave. I've had some angry parents who think this is none of my business, but I believe it is 100% the coaches business. If you want to scream and humiliate your kid at home, I can't stop you. But I'll be damned if I'm going to let a parent embarrass his child in front of all his teammates.